Try on These Pants

Back at the doctor’s office on Friday morning to get the last of my staples removed, I was relieved to see that again Jeff would be the tech removing them.  Last week he was skilled and careful with the staple crimpers, and most of them came out painlessly.  Now it was time for the last 15 to go.  Other than some pre-removal anxiety and mild pinching, this final round went well up until the last staple.  Why is it always the last one?  After Jeff worked at it for a while, he asked a doctor for help…this only heightened my anxiety. Together they struggled with it until finally they just had to get rough.  There was some painful pinching, but it eventually came out.  By the end it looked like a tiny key chain ring.

With my new diet and the added exercise of walking everywhere on crutches, I noticed that I had been losing weight after only a couple of weeks.  To confirm this, I asked Jeff if I could jump on the scale on the way out of the office.  Sure enough I had lost a little more than ten pounds.  This means less weight to carry on my crutches and less strain on my joints.  Not to mention the fact that I could afford to drop a few.

After my appointment, we stopped by Ryan and Makiko’s house to visit just in time to catch Mom as well who had been beading with Makiko.  When we couldn’t decide where to have lunch, we settled on groceries from Wegmans and had a picnic in Ryan and Makiko’s living room.  As I ate my organic turkey sandwich on gluten free bread, the stage was set for some debate on what constitutes healthy eating, versus what is just going overboard?  In order to get the facts straight, Ryan started with some research from the Saturday Night Live archives.

You may have noticed that for the past few weeks since my surgery I have been wearing the same brown corduroy pants every day.  After my amputation, I was soon faced with the question: How do you wear your pants with one leg missing?  …Allow one leg to simply dangle, tuck the pant leg into the waistline, or alter the pants?  I decided to go with altering the pants, but felt I should test out one pair first.  How high do you take them up, and do you sew the leg closed?  I don’t know, I’ve never thought about this before.  So Mom took my brown corduroy pants and hemmed them back like shorts.  I’ve been wearing these cords everyday, and I swear I do wash them, until yesterday when Mom gave me a bag with several other pants hemmed the same way giving me back my wardrobe.  Thank you Mom!


About bhoefen

Going on a road trip.
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11 Responses to Try on These Pants

  1. Nader Nasralla says:

    Hey bret ive been keeping up with your post to see how your doing and am hoping the best for you. check out this video its awesome

    a good diet is always beneficial. im glad to hear youve chosen a healthier lifestyle.

  2. Cuzin Katie says:

    What an awesome mom 😉 xoxo

  3. Geof says:

    Hi Bret,

    Happy Easter.

    Great SNL skit- I am laughing out loud watching it. High fructose corn syrup has been showing up in my life in many ways in the past few years, you and SNL have added another dimension to all of that.

    Sorry I haven’t been around to connect on chess, yet – I am away on another trip this week but I plan to ‘check’ you out about chess when I get back. I have many strategies planned to distract you from the game- these may include extensive lecturing you on healthy diets, how to wear your pants, and the benefits and risks of weight loss. Your post today gives me a menu of options to try. I have met few people that can stay awake during such verbal discourse (I am planning to bottle and sell these as Dr. Williams’ cures for insomnia out of the back of my car).

    Glad to see you are healing up! Hope to see you soon.

  4. Carmel says:

    Wishing you and yours a very happy and blessed Easter weekend!

  5. Stacy Matz says:

    Happy Easter guys !!!

    Stacy, Eric & the kids (:

  6. Reggie & Mary Lee says:

    What a great mom you have!! and talented too!
    Hey Wegmans has some wonderful artichokes this week – and they are vegetables so they can be on your healthy diet… depending what you dip the leaves into – not corn syrup for sure!
    Glad those nasty staples are all out – I do not have fond memories of them being removed so I winced as I read your descriptions – ouch!

  7. Nichole Steinhart-Billingsley says:

    Your mom has always been amazing! You follow in her footsteps for sure. Happy Easter

  8. Timpla says:

    Funny video! Glad to hear that you’re eating healthier. Your mom should share her cashew ‘meatballs’ recipe. They are yummy!

    Wishing you a speedy recovery!


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